A Conversation in the Medbay (Beth and Rose)

Started by Rose Wickson, November 05, 2021, 01:02:46 PM

Rose Wickson

(continued from this post)

"The body seems to work okay. I don't have any chronic conditions or allergies. But...."

Rose stood at attention by her console, waiting for Beth to continue. When she didn't, she turned to look at her, studying her concerned expression. She had a pretty good idea on what she might be hinting at, but suddenly felt unsure on how the broach the subject. She'd never had any reason to doubt her general bedside manner, but building trust with strangers was one social aspect of the job she'd gotten regrettably little practice with; back on Three Hills, the overwhelming majority of her patients had been neighbors who all seemed to know everybody's business anyway, the way small town folk tended to.

"Well, it just so happens that the body's my specialty, so that's the main focus here." Rose hoped a little friendly quipping would help lighten the mood. She looked down at the console, biting her lip in thought, then turned to face Beth properly, giving her her full attention.

"I know this is a little awkward, since we'll be spending so much time together on this ship an' all..." Rose didn't know if that fact was contributing to Beth's unease, but she herself had been giving it some thought. It was one thing to treat acquaintances you saw about town; here, she would essentially be room mates with all her patients, which could complicate certain delicate matters.

"But while we're in this room, I've got my healer hat on, and it's important that you're honest with me so I'll be able to help you. Anything you tell me is fully c-c-" she powered through the block and proceeded to hurry straight on to the next topic, determined not to get flustered. "-confidential. Are you taking any m-medication?"
Dialogue color: palevioletred

Beth Williams

April 21, 2022, 01:45:33 AM #1 Last Edit: April 21, 2022, 01:50:04 AM by Beth Williams
"Well, it just so happens that the body's my specialty, so that's the main focus here."

"Phew, I have come to the right place, then," Beth quipped, which was what she did when she was dealing with situations that she found awkward.

"I know this is a little awkward, since we'll be spending so much time together on this ship an' all... But while we're in this room, I've got my healer hat on, and it's important that you're honest with me so I'll be able to help you. Anything you tell me is fully c-c-confidential. Are you taking any m-medication?"

There had been a little pause during Rose's stutter and then the troublesome word had been rushed straight over into her question. "Is she as nervous about this as I am?" she wondered, and spent a moment trying to decide if that made her feel better or worse. She gave up as it dawned on her that the question that had been rushed into was the one that Beth had been dreading but which she knew was inevitable. She had hoped that she would have had a bit more time before it was asked, that a physical examination might have come before it. "And yet it never works out that way for you, Beth, does it?" she reminded herself.

She sighed, and gathered herself together, or at least as much as she could.

"Metoclopramide1 for nausea." was Beth's start on the list. It was innocuous enough but Beth felt some context was required.

""When I am anxious.... " by which she meant when she was more anxious that "normal" for her, "or if I am hungry and can't get to food, I tend to feel a bit nauseous."

But that was only the tip of the iceberg.

"And my other medication has nausea as a side-effect...." she said in a very small voice, the normally high pitch rising a little more. This was going to be the hard part and she felt in need of a little more encouragement.


1 Or the 'Verse equivalent. Metoclopramide

Dialogue Colour: Violet
Dialogue Colour: Fuchsia

Player: Clare : Other Characters: Velocity Grey-Lambert

Rose Wickson

Satisfied that she'd managed to ease her patient's concerns, Rose resumed typing. Soon, however, Beth's voice turned into a soft, nervous squeak that trailed off once more. The medic looked up, her face holding on to that inoffensively pleasant half-smile she wore when she was nervous about interacting with new people, though she felt a knot twist in her stomach. She had an inkling of what might be behind Beth's uneasy demeanor, but she wasn't sure she was equipped to handle it the right way.

"Well, like I said, mental health ain't really my area..." It hadn't really been anybody's area back in her hometown, had it? Most folks turned to a local preacher for comfort and guidance in their time of despair. Rose had done the same when Joshua had died, and she supposed it had worked well enough -- she had eventually recovered enough to begin apprenticing with Dr. Cohen, and as she'd managed to regain her grip on life and all it had to offer, that overwhelming, devastating emptiness had slowly drained away until all that remained were the occasional pangs of dull ache whenever something reminded her of the partner she'd lost and the life she'd never share with him.

But that had been situational depression, brought on by a crisis. She had done her grieving, then moved on; that was how things ideally worked out. It was a whole different story if you lived with a condition that existed to twist every thought you had until everything lost all meaning.

"Y'know, at the end of the day, the brain's just an organ like any other," she started over, hoping a change of perspective might help. "Sometimes it needs a little boost to do its job right. It ain't shameful to look after your body."

Rose stepped away from the console and towards Beth, leaving a respectful, professional gap between them but giving her her undivided attention. Perhaps that would make her seem more approachable?

"You don't have to go into any m-more detail than you'd like right now. I just need to know what you're taking, in case I need to administer something. To m-make sure there ain't-- aren't any interactions," she corrected her phrasing, suddenly aware of her rim-world accent and how it might come across.
Dialogue color: palevioletred

Beth Williams

TW: Thoughts of self harm


"Y'know, at the end of the day, the brain's just an organ like any other. Sometimes it needs a little boost to do its job right. It ain't shameful to look after your body."

It wasn't the first time that Beth had heard something along those lines, one of her therapists had said as much but the message from society, at least in Beth's experience, did not match up with that sentiment. She did not respond to it, feeling that Rose meant it kindly and that she couldn't find a way to respond nicely; which lead to the next thought.

"Or a right good kicking," Beth thought darkly. There were, all too frequently, times when Beth would gladly have ripped her head off and played football with it, if only to get it to understand the pain and misery it inflicted on her.

Beth watched Rose warily as the doctor stepped away from the console and approached her. She might have felt uncomfortable with the 10cm height difference between them but Rose stopped before there was any risk of Beth feeling that she was being loomed over. It prompted Beth to actually look at Rose properly, something she hadn't really done. Beth looked up slightly at Rose's face, taking details that previously had remained unnoticed since Beth had joined the ship.

"You don't have to go into any m-more detail than you'd like right now.

Rose's statement drew Beth out of her reverie in time to hear the next bit from the doctor.

"I just need to know what you're taking, in case I need to administer something. To m-make sure there ain't-- aren't any interactions,"

Beth was a little surprised by Rose correcting her own speech and for a moment she clung to analysing why Rose might have felt it necessary to do so. Then the meaning of the last part of Rose's statement sunk in. Most people would immediately see the possibility of adverse reactions as a threat. In contrast, Beth's immediate reaction was to see it as an opportunity; that perhaps the reaction would be sufficiently extreme to take away the pain permanently.

For a moment Beth just stood there looking at Rose, her gaze finding and locking onto the Doctor's eyes. Slowly, through the darkness and pain, she discovered a desire in herself not to be a disappointment to the woman standing in front of her. She felt that if she gave in to the darkness she would potentially do Rose harm and if there was one thing that Beth could not do was to deliberately cause harm to another, even tangentially.

With that realisation, Beth's eyes grew wide and round and started to glisten as they were moistened by tears that threatened to but didn't actually spill over onto her cheeks.

Suddenly Beth seemed to sink down into herself though her feet remained locked in place. Her head dropped and the tears, that had so far been held in check, spilled over, though, other than the occasional droplet falling to the deck, there was no indication that she was crying.

Dialogue Colour: Violet
Dialogue Colour: Fuchsia

Player: Clare : Other Characters: Velocity Grey-Lambert

Rose Wickson

Don't cry.

That was something people liked to say in situations like this. As if the tears themselves were the problem. As if by simply stopping the pain and stress from spilling out -- in one of the healthiest ways the human body had evolved to expel them -- you were fixing something.

Rose didn't say it. She didn't say anything, not until Beth had had a moment to gather herself.

"If you're not feeling up to it right now, we can do this later. Ain't like-- it's not like either of is going anywhere." She took a cautious step closer to Beth while still maintaining a respectful distance.

"Although sometimes waiting makes it worse and it's better to get things out the way. Rip the band-aid off, like they say." She immediately cringed at her choice of words. That was a terrible idiom. Perhaps applicable in some situations, but frequently used as a callous dismissal of people needing to take their time.

It also happened to be a terrible philosophy when applied to literal band-aids.

"I hate that expression. Forget I used it." She waved it off, literally, then clasped her hands and returned to her professional bedside manner mode. "W-whatever feels best for you right now."
Dialogue color: palevioletred

Beth Williams

There didn't seem to any point in putting it off. If Rose didn't know then it would be harder for Beth to get the repeat prescriptions, and she needed them to keep functioning, even at her low standard of "function". She had inadvertently gone off all of them at times, mostly because she hadn't been able to get a prescription filled, or the ship had been delayed for one reason or another. The results had not been pretty.

Beth looked at Rose with big, sad, eyes that still showed signs of tears even though she wasn't actually crying. Paradoxically, Rose coming closer helped to steady Beth a little bit, perhaps because the 'intimacy' made it feel less like she was about to tell the whole ship. Beth took a deep breath to steady herself, then 'ripped the bandaid off,' because as bad as the expression was, it did seem to apply to the situation.

"Mirtazapine1 for ..." Even with her resolve, it was hard admitting it to someone who was a stranger, even with the knowledge that the stranger was a doctor, and despite Rose's assurances of confidentiality, harder still to admit it to someone who would see her every day in what could be considered a social context. Shanghai wasn't tiny but it was hard to completely avoid other members of the crew. "... depression," Beth finally managed to get out, though Beth knew it wouldn't be the drug so much as the dosage that would raise an eyebrow, so she hesitated to add it. She was taking very nearly twice the maximum indicated dose, which verged on being dangerous. At that dosage it was not something that one wanted to risk forgetting that it had been taken for the day and taking it again. "60mg .... a day.".

Helping her to remember, or at least have some chance of getting to her pills without being distracted, was her medication for her predominantly inattentive ADHD. "Methylphenidate2, 20 milligrams." The other thing that helped was the little dispenser that had seven compartments, one for each day of the week.

There was more of course; with Beth, there was always more. "And Brexpiprazole3, 2mg." Beth knew that the drug would raise an eyebrow, if not now, when Rose had the opportunity to look it up.

The confession had cost Beth too much and she started shaking.


Reference information.
1 Mirtazapine: Maximum dosage is 45mg.
2 Methylphenidate: 20mg is typical.
3 Brexpiprazole: An atypical antipsychotic. Typical dosage: 2mg.

Dialogue Colour: Violet
Dialogue Colour: Fuchsia

Player: Clare : Other Characters: Velocity Grey-Lambert

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